now i'm the king of the ward

hahaha

2006-09-27T03:21:44Z

oh, texas.

read: j brand jeans

2006-03-14T00:47:01Z

i just made a wonderful purchase, all thanks to leah allowing me to run all over south coast with her.

late

2006-03-10T07:01:35Z

yesterday was international women's day and only one man came into my shop with that in mind, an old german guy with the last name czech[?]. "you should be excited and happy! no one in eastern europe is working today because you're a woman!" i was so confused. he began to explain what holiday it was, since i had no idea, and about how american's don't celebrate with heart anymore. he went on how he's able to feel it in his heart weeks before any celebration and said, "if it's never in your heart it doesn't touch your mind."

jedes herz isteine revolutionare zelle
[every heart is a revolutionary cell]

Darling Alisha,

2006-03-07T02:56:51Z

Let me tell you a thing or two about being close minded:

My parents divorced when I was three years old, I grew up with my grandparents and listened to shit for 5 years about how horrible the people in my life that I actually cared about were. My parents, complete drug addicts. My sister had a baby when she was 17 years old and had to deal with the fact she will never have a normal teenage life style because her husband beat her. My mother left me for an asshole from Texas in my late junior year, I moved back and lived with my father who is severely manic depressive. My mother, who calls me at 5:00 in the morning saying she wants to kill herself, is bipolar and won’t seek help. I live on my own; I pay my own rent, bills, and soon to be way through a junior college to get to a university. I graduated my senior year 5 months before everyone. I know what happiness is. I know what drugs are. And I know that calling your best friend "close minded" was a big fucking mistake.

Grow up,
Sarah Lineberger

you have no idea

2006-03-06T04:36:19Z

i am so happy with my life. without E

hey lucas...

2006-03-01T10:05:23Z

how cool is being on t.v.?

soft_white @ 2006-02-28T19:13:00

2006-03-01T03:14:18Z

i cut my hand with clippers today. that is about it today

soft_white @ 2006-02-23T10:14:00

2006-02-23T19:39:47Z

i really don't like having to admit it, but my mother makes me sick to my stomach with worries. i'm so sick and tired of the threats and messages. she's such an evil person, i can't even begin to explain how much moving north will help me really get away

soft_white @ 2006-02-22T22:04:00

2006-02-23T06:07:48Z

i hate tonight, mostly because i think too much. all the stupid "why didn't this progress?" or "why did i have to do that?" questions. it's just the past

home early

2006-02-21T00:28:07Z

an a.a. card and a lock of red hair

HAPPY V-DAY

2006-02-14T14:36:45Z

it's my favorite holiday, unfortunately i'll be working all day and i don't have a valentine. i think i've had one good valentine's... i guess leah and i will just make some s'mores.

soft_white @ 2006-02-02T07:45:00

2006-02-02T15:47:30Z

i can't wait to move

soft_white @ 2006-01-30T00:11:00

2006-01-30T08:14:14Z

my hair is getting long. FINALLY!! i had a good day for once

i like italicizing stuff

2006-01-28T16:49:45Z

i woke up this morning with a constant nagging of nina. she and all her bribes are moving back to texas on tuesday. i just don't understand how someone, especially your mother, could put you through so much shit, pain, abandonment, etc. and completely not acknowledge what happened last spring, let alone convince herself that i might even consider living with her again. my god, it's been close to a year already. it really tears me up inside, i love her but i don't like her. she's offering everything materialistically that i would want and yes, it does appeal to me, but none of it brings me happiness. i told her, "i'd rather be struggling on my own and making my own money, living without a car, without your fucking money than living with you under your roof. you're not going to bring me happiness again, not for a while and i'm not moving back to texas." her reply, "we can make things work out and it can be normal again, i need you." and mine was just crying

independent

2006-01-27T05:00:41Z

i'm right here! stop with all the pointless, stupid bullshit that you make yourself hurt over, i'm right here...

my heart

2006-01-26T01:09:19Z

the only boy in my life

complaint

2006-01-25T03:52:37Z

i hate how you talk to someone on a regular basis and yet, even though you throw out tons of notions and clues they still don't get that you like them. all their interest is on someone that doesn't respect or even give them the time of day, and it kills. it KILLS! to know that the person you want is too oblivious to see the kindness and love they're looking right in front of them. in a good friend that does have respect and will give them any moment of the day. every single emotion surfaced has been a lost cause.

soft_white @ 2006-01-21T18:09:00

2006-01-22T02:10:56Z

so we bought new wine glasses

haha

good evening

2006-01-17T04:09:13Z

i come home and set down my bag, take off whatever shoes i'm wearing for the day. play some music, tonight's choice 'sing' by blur on repeat. i make myself a drink, whether it be coffee or vodka with juice. i sit down at the bar in my kitchen and take a cigarette out of the weekly pack, open the blinds and prepare for a smoke. it should be time for me to unwind and leave the night to myself, but all i ever do is worry about the next day and what time i should fall asleep. it's not depressing or dismal, just a routine and i don't mind

kljs

2006-01-16T02:59:25Z

i think i had a heart attack at alisha's today. i was leaning on my side using her laptop when i felt this pain in my chest, then i felt and heard a loud pop that lasted for probably 2 horrible seconds and i just laid there. i feel fine. my shower is waiting for me

he's nice and all...

2005-12-31T07:11:47Z

should i feel bad? i don't know. if i didn't i'd only be lying to myself. i can't help what i don't like.

getting back into lj

2005-12-28T00:14:38Z

milestone in my life(today): mom actually admitted she needs help. and will get it.

this is the most boring day in history of growers direct flowers, inc. i could probably fall aslepp

soft_white @ 2005-12-26T22:29:00

2005-12-27T06:32:59Z

unfortunately, making the little eLouai characters was the high-light of my day. and to make it worse, i'm really good at it, too.

hahaha, yeah right

merry christmas

2005-12-27T00:52:07Z

you know, it sucks knowing that someone in your family has a mental illness and that they won't get help. especially when when they manage to ruin every holiday and wind up missing the next day after a night of suicidal threats. i try to not let it get to me, but after all, it is my mother.

soft_white @ 2005-12-11T12:16:00

2005-12-11T20:16:37Z

anyway